


















y 

CHILD TYPES 

AND 

THE CHANGING CHILD 

BY 

FRANCES WELD DANIELSON 



BOSTON 


PILGRIM PRESS 


CHICAGO 




L&III5 

.1 ZS 

C 


Copyright 1923 
By SIDNEY A. WESTON 


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Printed in the United States of America 


THE JORDAN & MORE PRESS 
BOSTON 

101923 * l\ 

Q C1A759798 

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CONTENTS 

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Child Types 

PAGE 

I The Shy Child. 3 

II The Imaginative Child.n 

III The Child with Humor.17 

IV The Contrary Child .23 

V The Helpful Child.29 

VI The Secretive Child .35 

VII The Intense Child.41 

VIII The Indolent Child.45 

IX The Child with a Temper.49 

X The Self-Assertive Child.55 

XI The Imitative Child .61 

XII The Good-Natured Child.67 

XIII The Persistent Child.73 

The Changing Child 

I Through Fear to Confidence.77 

II Through Reticence to Self-Expression ... 85 

III Through Egoism to Consideration .... 91 

IV Through Dependence to Independence ... 97 

V Through Petulance to Poise.103 

VI Through Affection to Appreciation .... 109 

VII Through Obstinacy to Persistence . . . . 115 

VIII Through Imagination to Sympathy .... 121 

IX Through Activity to Helpfulness .... 127 


















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Child Types 





THE SHY CHILD 









I 


The Shy Child 

S HE was a trial to her parents, and her own 
worst enemy. To begin with, the Shy Child 
was pretty, and it is a calamity to be both 
shy and pretty. If she had been homely she 
might have met contemptuous glances, it is true, 
but these would have been nothing to the Shy 
Child in comparison with Attention. The buga¬ 
boo of the Shy Child was Attention. To be 
neither pretty nor homely but plain would have 
been most desirable, for plain children are ignored 
by all but the child-lover and the conscientious 
adult. I mean by the conscientious adult the rela¬ 
tive who because of kinship pats a child on the 
head and asks his age, or the honest, hireling type 
of teacher, who does her duty by all her pupils. 
The child-loving adult is a different proposition. 

The Shy Child, as I said, was distinctly pretty, 
and so, wherever she went, she was noticed. This 
was particularly embarrassing in parlors. Did 
you ever stop to think how the average adult, 
not one who is bashful and unsophisticated and 
awkward, but the normal adult would feel to 
be signaled out from a company, stood up to 

3 


Child Types 

show his height, lifted into giant laps to demon¬ 
strate his weight, asked his age, and treated to 
frank comments on his various features? 

Unfortunately, again, the Shy Child was small 
for her age. Not that she cared, except that it 
caused more Attention. To be shy and either 
larger or smaller than the average child is de¬ 
plorable. 

“Five years? Fd never think it. I’m afraid 
you are making up a big, big story,” would say 
the caller, and the Shy Child felt reproached. To 
have been very large would have won the equally 
mortifying comment, — “Only five? A great, big 
girl like you ?” 

However, the Shy Child had one great good- 
fortune. She had a shy mother. Few people 
even suspected this, for the mother had overcome 
the objectionable features of shyness and retained 
only the delicate sensibility and fine reticence 
which are its desirable outgrowths. Perhaps the 
most important legacy of her childhood shyness 
was that she understood shyness. 

So the Shy Child escaped the disaster that 
threatened a shy child across the street, whose 
mother punished her for bashful behavior to 
callers, and who was fast developing into the 
Sullen Child. 

The Shy Child’s mother never punished her for 
shyness but helped her to banish self-conscious- 

4 


The Shy Child 

ness by the magic of interest in others. With her 
mother in the room the Shy Child did not mind 
even a stranger. Her mother had a happy way 
of forestalling questions by saying, “This is Jane. 
She is five. I have asked her to color a picture 
for a little gift to you. It’s a pretty picture, isn’t 
it? What color shall you make the girl’s dress, 
Jane?” 

Thus the bugaboo Attention attacked the pic¬ 
ture, and the Shy Child escaped. There developed, 
too, a good feeling for a stranger for whom she 
had colored a picture. 

Sometimes Attention was transferred to the 
children of the relative or caller. The Shy Child 
was asked to show a favorite toy, so that the 
stranger might buy one like it for his child. Occa¬ 
sionally he was frankly told that the Shy Child 
liked to sit by quietly, while grown people talked. 

Meal-times were hardest, but the mother knew 
so well the signs of Attention that she seized it 
before it assailed the Shy Child and fastened it 
upon the food, telling how Jane saw it cooked, or 
upon the flowers, which Jane picked. She helped 
the Shy Child to feel that other people and things 
were very much more important than she. 

The Shy Child had a little cousin who knew 
she was shy. This little cousin’s mother told 
everybody about her shyness and sympathized 
with it. The little cousin was rather proud of 

5 


Child Types 

it, and she cried a great deal, for it is pleasant 
to cry when you will be cuddled and kissed for it. 
The Shy Child did not know she was shy and she 
did know that tears are a nuisance. When she 
started to cry her mother always found some¬ 
thing interesting to do or to see that she could not 
do or see with her eyes full of tears. 

The Shy Child’s mother never laughed at her. 
Other people did, and one laugh made her, as far 
as they were concerned, the Secretive Child. Her 
mother considered that very dangerous. She was 
gratified that with her the Shy Child was less shy 
than with anybody else. She laughed with her, 
and they had merry times over funny things they 
did, but she never laughed at the Shy Child’s 
questions, and she never seemed to regard the 
thoughts she told as funny. She did not tell them 
to people before the Shy Child, and never behind 
her back to anybody who was not sympathetic. 
Many quaint, intimate remarks the Shy Child 
made she would have as little thought of quoting 
as she would have quoted her husband’s love- 
letters. 

She respected the Shy Child’s reticence. She 
knew that no human being can ever know a shy 
person perfectly. Often she saw a far-away look 
in the Shy Child’s eyes and she did not say, 
“What are you thinking about, dear?” She just 
put her hand in the Shy Child’s, or moved a little 

6 


The Shy Child 

closer. Sometimes she told what she herself 
was thinking. 

As the Shy Child grew older her mother pro¬ 
tected her less. She told her that people expect 
good manners in a child, and answers to their 
questions. She tried to fit her for contact with 
the world, by the grace of courtesy. She knew 
that otherwise she would be misunderstood and 
handicapped. She did not attempt this too early, 
because it was necessary first to create interest in 
people and things outside of herself. She recog¬ 
nized the fact that the Shy Child can never be the 
Popular Child, but that good manners will save 
her many a hard knock. That these formal good 
manners might become second nature, she had 
them practised at home. She knew what a pro¬ 
tection to the Shy Child it would be to have 
acquired the habit of shaking hands, and to be 
accustomed to reply with conventional phrases. 

And yet in all this drill on manners, she empha¬ 
sized the other person — never the child. One 
shakes hands, she told her, not to appear well, 
but to show respect to older people, and courtesy 
means making others comfortable. For this 
mother realized that the Shy Child’s great danger 
came from within, and that the antidote to brood¬ 
ing, morbid self-consciousness is interest in out¬ 
side things and service for others. 

It chanced that the Shy Child’s good fairy was 

7 


Child Types 

her mother. Alas! it is not always so. But there 
is at least one good fairy for every type of child. 
It may be a relative less near but more under¬ 
standing. It may be a teacher. It may be a 
friend. 

Are you the good fairy to any Shy Child ? 


8 


THE IMAGINATIVE CHILD 










II 


The Imaginative Child 

I N the present age the Imaginative Child has 
come into his own. Heretofore branded as 
the Liar, or with equal scorn, as the Dreamer, 
he has suffered for the cause of the Imagination 
a soap-washed mouth, beatings, scoldings, refusals 
to accept his word, supperless nights and stay-in¬ 
bed days. Occasionally he has retracted and 
accepted the creed of the Matter-of-Fact, but for 
the most part Imagination has lived under mar¬ 
tyrdom, though secretly. The Imaginative Child 
of the past has dreamed dreams and built castles in 
Spain, but has not told about them. 

The Imaginative Child of today occasionally 
possesses parents who worship the old god Real¬ 
ism. I overheard such a mother telling a friend 
on the train how she had at last discovered the root 
of John’s tendency to lie. “I visited his kindergar¬ 
ten,” she announced, “and there were the children 
seated on the floor in a circle, urged on by the 
kindergartner to make up stories, and my John 
was applauded because he told the biggest one.” 
The confusion of entering passengers prevented 


it 







Child Types 

my hearing the fate of poor little John, but I 
formed a mental picture of a wide-eyed child who 
had little to tell his own mother. For the Imagi¬ 
native Child, like the Shy Child, easily becomes 
the Secretive Child, and, indeed, there is no one 
to whom he can confide all his dreams. 

I know the mother of an Imaginative Child, on 
the other hand, who finds time to place an extra 
plate on the table for Charlie, his imaginary play¬ 
mate, although there are five other children’s 
plates to place. She is interested in Charlie’s do¬ 
ings, moves aside to give him room on a seat, and 
recognizes readily that he must have a share in 
all the Imaginative Child’s doings. She realizes 
that the Imaginative Child has a precious posses¬ 
sion that will gild poor places for him all through 
his life and make him independent of surround¬ 
ings. She knows that the Imaginative Child is a 
blessing not only to himself but to the world, for 

“The dreamers are the doers, 

And only the dreams come true.” 

i 

She thinks that the Imaginative Child will be¬ 
come one who will be able to see the other per¬ 
son’s point of view, and that, she knows, spells 
sympathy. She wonders if that were not the secret 
of the greatest Friend of man — perfect under¬ 
standing of another’s nature and feeling, whether 


12 


The Imaginative Child 

a poor sinner, or a rich ruler, or a little child. She 
proposes to foster and protect this priceless gift, 
so that the Imaginative Child shall not merely 
transform his own surroundings, but by project¬ 
ing himself into others’ lives, shall become a real 
friend. 

The mother of the Imaginative Child under¬ 
stands that there are for him two grave dangers 
— that of mere dreaming, and of inaccuracy. So 
she sees to it that he does many practical things, 
and carries out his dreams. He is the prince of 
the fairy tale, but he carries real gifts to real 
people. He has a magical wand, and by its magic 
sticks of wood leap into a basket, and the articles 
in an untidy room fly to their rightful places. He 
has winged sandals, and they help him to do 
errands swiftly and happily. 

That he may be saved the handicap of inaccu¬ 
racy, she assists him in cultivating correct obser¬ 
vation. He writes from memory lists of articles 
in shop windows, which she requires him to 
verify. She plays sense games with him, detect¬ 
ing single tastes and smells and sounds and ob¬ 
jects from a mass. And, gradually, she helps 
him to distinguish between fact and fancy, but to 
find truth in both. 

I was walking in the woods one day with the 
Imaginative Child at the age when fancy is apt 
to be trampled under by fact. He laughed at my 

13 



Child Types 

tale of dryads, and I at once said that the penalty 
of laughter was the inability to see a dryad. So 
I reported what I saw peeping from the oaks we 
passed, and he seemed quite piqued that his eyes 
were closed. Then, fearing I was overdoing the 
matter, I said, “You don’t really believe all this?” 
and he answered in a whisper, “Sh! no; but let's 
keep right on.” 

Yes, Imaginative Child, we’ll keep right on, and 
be thankful that we can, and we will never let 
you lose your gift! 




THE CHILD WITH HUMOR 




Ill 


The Child with Humor 

S HE is as rare as she is enjoyable. I, who 
supposed I knew children, was prepared 
to assert that they do not possess real 
humor. They delight in grotesque situations — 
in the man chasing his hat, the boy sprawling on 
the sidewalk. The person who can “make a 
face” causes hearty laughter. The circus clown 
and Charlie Chaplin do the especial sort of funny 
act that appeals to children’s rudimentary sense 
of humor, which is more truly a sense of the 
ridiculous. 

But then I came across the Child with Humor, 
and I generalized no longer. I met her eye, as I 
was appreciating a rather subtle bit of humor, and 
lo! there I found appreciation. Now, people with 
a sense of humor are not great laughers. They 
are not at all what we term “merry.” Nor did 
the child laugh when her eye met mine. How, 
then, did I recognize a kindred sense? I cannot 
tell, except to say that there is as much freema¬ 
sonry among people with humor as in any secret 
society. There is a certain look that is as con¬ 
vincing as a special grip or password. 

17 


Child Types 

‘‘Go down-town with me tomorrow,” was all 
I said. What I meant was, “Let us look out on 
life together.” And what I thought was, “Bless 
you! you have one of the fairies’ birthday gifts, 
and there could be none better.” 

The Child with Humor is scarcely more de¬ 
pendent upon circumstances than the Imaginative 
Child, for she can extract humor from untoward 
conditions, just as the Imaginative Child can illu¬ 
minate ugly surroundings. Tragedy can never 
claim for his own one who can find light spots in 
the deepest gloom. 

And the Child of Humor possesses the antidote 
to self-conceit. It may be that I have an exag¬ 
gerated aversion to this common fault of man¬ 
kind, but it seems to me to bar one from self- 
improvement, for how is it possible to better 
perfection? Self-satisfaction is fatal to growth, 
and remember Uriah Heep, if you think for one 
moment that a protestation of humility denotes 
lack of egotism. 

The Child with Humor sees herself strutting, 
and is vastly amused, or pretending to cringe, and 
unhesitatingly pulls off the mask. She serves her¬ 
self inestimably by laughing at herself. The 
sense of humor in a way detaches her, so that she 
sees herself as if she were another. She hears 
the patronizing tone of her own voice, as it 
addresses some one poorer in money but richer in 

t8 


The Child with Humor 


mind, and chuckles at the absurdity. She secretly 
makes fun of herself for manipulating circum¬ 
stances so that she can shine. 

At five she does all this? Dear me, no! not 
then, for the grace of humor, like all the graces, 
has a small beginning. It is capable of cultiva¬ 
tion, but only by one who himself possesses it. 
Luckily, it is impossible to kill, for it persists, 
unrecognized and unseen by all but the initiated. 
Many claim to possess it who have never gotten 
beyond the sense of the ridiculous. 

O Child with Humor, we welcome you to life! 
The world sadly needs you. You will save tense 
situations. You will transform bitterness. You 
will see things in their right proportions. Your 
own great temptation will be to hurt those who 
amuse you, and so we older members of the fra¬ 
ternity will try to help you to be kindly keen, and 
to regard sarcasm as the cheap weapon of a hate¬ 
ful spirit. We’ll show you that to laugh appre¬ 
ciatively at human weakness is one-sided, unless 
one also has the power to recognize human great¬ 
ness, and we’ll fix in you the habit of finding your 
largest field of amusement, your opportunity for 
sharpest insight in — yourself. 











THE CONTRARY CHILD 



























IV 


The Contrary Child 

H E presents a problem for the present and 
a source of anxiety for the future. It may 
be because of heredity and natural dis¬ 
position; it may be on account of environment 
and training that he carries an attitude of con¬ 
stant belligerency. Whatever is suggested, his 
first reaction is against it. 

Occasionally a fond parent (usually male) will 
point with a curious sort of pride at the red-faced 
Contrary Child, as he shakes his fist at his small 
world, and say, “He will stand up for his rights. 
No one will impose upon him.” 

In a flash comes to us a picture of the Con¬ 
trary Child grown into the Contrary Man, and 
shaking his fist at the world at large. We see 
him in meetings, political and religious, rising to 
object. We see him rousing antagonism in his 
home, and making tranquillity in his business im¬ 
possible. We see him placated by those near of 
kin, disliked by business associates, avoided by all 
who can do so, and merely tolerated by those who 
can’t. We see him ridiculed, abused, rarely loved. 
Unfair? Perhaps, for he is neither dishonest, im- 

23 



Child Types 

moral nor cruel; but inevitable, for he ostracizes 
himself by placing himself always in opposition. 

We would save you from such a future, Con¬ 
trary Child. You are little now, and susceptible, 
and transparent. Our easiest course is to “get 
along” with you by means of a system of deceit 
and manipulation. We suggest, perhaps, the exact 
opposite of the thing we want done, and then 
apparently comply with your objection. We 
camouflage our desires so that they appear to be 
your own. But in this we mortgage your future 
happiness at the expense of our present peace. 

What, then, shall we meet fire with fire, and 
bend you to our will? In so doing we shall 
merely replace contrariness with sullenness, and 
breed secretiveness. 

No; our task is to cultivate in you good-will and 
the expectation of it in others. We shall take 
pains to suggest an act to you at a time when 
interest has made you forget yourself. Although 
we shall insist upon your doing some things we 
ask against your will, we realize that joy must be 
associated with action often enough to counteract 
your constitutional tendency to opposition. We 
shall plan helpful deeds for others so fascinating 
as to create the spirit of good-will in both giver 
and receiver. 

We shall be firm with you, Contrary Child, but 
never antagonistic, for we are striving to quench 

24 


The Contrary Child 

the flame of rage, not to fan it. We shall stretch 
out a sympathetic, strong hand to you and by our 
attitude say, “Life is a charming adventure, with 
happiness for all. Come! let us carry her book to 
grandmother, and steal away so she will not know 
who brought it. Listen! there are the footsteps 
of somebody bringing our share of happiness to 
us. Let us show him our pleasure.” 

On such a quest the chip is bound to fall from 
the shoulder of the Contrary Child. In considera¬ 
tion of others he forgets protection of his own 
rights, and thus gains for himself the right of 
good-fellowship and happiness and love. Never 
born to be a weak man, as his father dimly real¬ 
izes, he is on the road to become a man of opinions 
but not opinionated, and to find in the world the 
friendship he gives it. 


25 




THE HELPFUL CHILD 
















V 

The Helpful Child 

I T is a pleasant tribute to human nature that 
the Helpful Child is not rare. We meet him 
everywhere, with his beaming smile, his eager 
hands outstretched, his feet willing to run our 
errands. The sad part is that most of us regard 
him as more of a nuisance than a blessing. “Oh, 
dear, no! I can’t wait for you to go, dear,” we 
say, pleasantly enough, not dreaming that we are 
crushing a lovely impulse. “Mother will carry it; 
you’re too little,” says the strong, efficient parent, 
and let her not delude herself into supposing she 
says this from any desire to save her child’s 
strength. No; she is sparing herself the un¬ 
pleasantness of a load brought slowly, or clumsily 
dropped. And the Helpful Child gains the idea 
that he is not needed in the big world full of 
capable, self-sufficient adults. 

We see the result in the selfish, indolent older 
boy who has adapted himself logically to this 
world so well conducted without him. He now 
demands the service that was once thrust upon 
him, for are not adults made to minister to his 
needs, and is not goodness the amicable accept- 

29 


Child Types 

ance of these attentions ? He will not reflect on a 
grown person’s inability by offering assistance — 
not he. Rather will he chuckle at any sign of 
adult incompetency. 

But, happily, here is a mother of a Helpful 
Child, a part of whose parental creed it is never 
to refuse an offer of help. A broken dish, a half- 
brushed floor, a delayed errand are accepted by 
her as a necessary apprenticeship in unselfishness. 
She knows that efficient service must come from 
practise, but it is not efficiency that she covets for 
her child — rather something far finer — the 
spirit of service. She sees in his first eager, im¬ 
pulsive offers of help the first faint evidence of 
that spirit. 

Now, she knows full well that these early offers 
of assistance are not made with her own welfare 
in view. It is probable the Helpful Child is not 
thinking of her much of any, but of his own power 
to help. He wants to show that he is strong and 
capable. He looks forward to the nod of approval 
that will come when he proudly shows the full 
wood box or delivers the loaf of bread and the 
correct change. This mother does not look for 
any higher motive at first. She knows that her 
task is to make service pleasurable and help¬ 
fulness a habit. And she very ingeniously and 
persistently turns his attention from the deed and 
the doer to the one who is served. She praises 

30 


The Helpful Child 

the sturdy little legs that saved grandfather’s tired 
legs. She tells of the nap she took while the Help¬ 
ful Child did her errand. She points out that for 
an hour the baby did not cry once, because the 
Helpful Child kept her playthings within reach. 

She knows — this far-seeing mother — that 
only a shade more contemptible than the selfish 
and lazy man, the product of refusals of help, is 
the patronizing, ostentatious helper of his kind, 
who reduces service to a profession. She is will¬ 
ing to offer herself as a means of exercising a 
virtue only if the Helpful Child is to grow more 
and more aware of the benefit to her, and gradu¬ 
ally to forget himself and his deed. She has this 
ideal for him, that he may serve mankind for the 
sake of mankind, and that the only reward he will 
ultimately crave will be the happiness of those he 
serves. 


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3i 



















THE SECRETIVE CHILD 





VI 


The Secretive Child 

B Y the Secretive Child I want it distinctly 
understood that I do not mean the Shy 
Child. There is a world-wide differ¬ 
ence. The Shy Child simply has a larger amount 
than customary of childhood’s reserve, and is usu¬ 
ally of a delicate nature. The Secretive Child, on 
the contrary, may not be shy at all, but apparently 
frank and open. 

A lover of children recognizes that there are 
large tracts of every child’s mind which are 
hedged about with an impenetrable wall of re¬ 
serve. This hedge has a gate, but only the elect 
can discover it. Woe be to any adventurer who 
tries to scale it, for he finds himself baffled as 
though by magic. The term “elect” refers to 
people who have a rare understanding of children, 
and these, although they know the entrance, hesi¬ 
tate to go in often, lest they wear out their wel¬ 
come and some day find it barred. 

To keep this door of communication unlocked 
is the great task that saves the Shy Child from 
becoming the Secretive Child. We will respect 
the desire for privacy but fear sly secrecy. Maud 

35 


Child Types 

Lindsay has written a parable on this subject in 
her Mother Stories, called “The Closing Door.” 

The Secretive Child who is not shy is more of a 
problem. The first step is to seek the cause, for, 
though it may be an inherited tendency, it may 
also be the result of environment. Can it be that 
the Secretive Child has been harshly treated and 
is building a defence against severe punishment? 
If this is so, we will greet confession of a fault 
with praise, and plan together how to overcome 
it. No matter how grave it is, deceit is worse. It 
may be that ridicule has led to secrecy. Childhood 
is more sensitive to a laugh than a blow. A little 
boy who stolidly refused to take home his kinder¬ 
garten work finally gave as his reason, “My 
mother laughed at my mat; then she put it in the 
fire.” If we have shown amusement instead of 
appreciation at a little child’s efforts we will hasten 
to make what amends we can, by taking them 
seriously. It may be simply indifference and neg¬ 
lect that have driven the Secretive Child in upon 
herself. If we find it hard to cultivate an interest 
in her small affairs, let us paint a picture of our¬ 
selves at the other end of life, when interests have 
again dwindled, and the child is at her prime. 
Shall we not prize an unbroken intimacy then? 

If, however, we cannot discover real cause for 
secretiveness, ours is the more difficult task of 
building up an ideal of openness. Stories will 

36 


The Secretive Child 


help — a story of the foolish magpie, who steals 
and hides, and so is not beloved, or “The Neck¬ 
lace of Truth,” in Mace’s Home Fairy Tales. 
Made-up stories of every single thing that one 
did in a day, told first by the mother and then by 
the Secretive Child, give pleasant practise in shar¬ 
ing interests. Secrets between two, the mother 
and the Secretive Child, and plans made together 
for delightful surprises, will help satisfy the crav¬ 
ing for secrecy. 

The future of the Secretive Child is a menace 
to herself and to others, but, happily, the Se¬ 
cretive Child need not become the Secretive 
Woman. 


37 





















THE INTENSE CHILD 














VII 


The Intense Child 

S HE is very appealing and yet she wears you 
out. If you are telling a story, you adore 
her. If you are putting her to bed, you 

don’t. 

The Intense Child is equally intense about 
everything. When she becomes the Intense 
Woman she will have gained a sense of values, 
it is to be hoped, and will save herself for the 
most important things. It is the sense of values 
that we can assist in cultivating in the Intense 
Child. We shall wisely encourage in her occa¬ 
sional indifference, and try to induce her to dream 
now and then. 

We shall be careful what we let her see or hear, 
for every detail will be indelibly imprinted upon 
her. She who feels small things so keenly must 
have her emotions protected. Not for her the 
most exciting tale. Never for her a “movie.” 
When I say she doesn’t need them, I do not in¬ 
tend to say that one should try to make of every 
child an average child, but simply that we should 
protect our children from becoming ill-balanced. 
The Intense Child is fortunate who has a calm 


4i 


Child Types 

and firm mother, requiring obedience, but never 
punishing hastily and in anger. This mother 
realizes how necessary are sleep and fresh air to 
a high-strung temperament, and she is very care¬ 
ful of the feelings that are so easily hurt. She 
knows that the Intense Child need not develop 
into the Sensitive Child, and she calls to her aid 
the sense of humor. Together they laugh at the 
time she cried when grandfather forgot to stop 
for her. How funny it was for grandfather to 
ride straight past the house and never look up! 
When she goes visiting again she and her mother 
together tie a string on grandfather’s finger, to 
help him remember, and he laughs as hard as they. 
Her mother shows her how silly it is to think all 
people who scowl are cross with you, when it may 
be they are just cross with themselves! 

The Intense Child’s mother does not want to 
crush out of her this intensity, for she realizes its 
worth. She knows that she will succeed in what 
she undertakes, and that, rightly guided, she will 
be a real force in the world. 


42 


THE INDOLENT CHILD 





VIII 

The Indolent Child 

T O begin with, it must be admitted that the 
Indolent Child is rare, and that he is usu¬ 
ally the victim of his diet. The wise 
mother realizes that when new machinery does 
not run something is clogging it, and removes the 
cause. 

Occasionally, however, she discovers that the 
trouble is not physical, and then she faces a more 
difficult proposition. A child does occasionally 
seem to be “born lazy/’ and, though the Indolent 
Child does not greatly disturb the world’s prog¬ 
ress, he is the guaranty that the loafer’s bench of 
the future will be occupied. 

It is possible, while the Indolent Child is young, 
to arouse in him the thing that lies dormant, the 
germ of activity — interest. The Indolent Man 
is jolted out of his inertia by such sensations as 
cold, hunger and fear. A young child, however, 
can be trained to respond to less elemental appeals. 

Curiosity often proves effective. Persistent 
effort in untying a hard knot is the only way to 
disclose the contents of a paper parcel containing 
a gift. A long walk is undertaken because the 

45 



Child Types 

unknown goal is pointed out as highly desirable. 

The Indolent Child’s teacher feels justified in 
planning tasks that entail effort but which invari¬ 
ably. have a pleasurable result. She realizes that 
this gives a one-sided view of work, but her idea 
is that love of work for work’s sake cannot be 
expected at first. So the reward of care in mount¬ 
ing a picture is the privilege of taking it home; 
a blackboard drawing is commented upon and 
praised; perfect memory work recorded by a star. 

Not until the habit of work is started is the 
appeal of another’s happiness of much avail. 
Here, too, praise and appreciation are necessary. 
If the Indolent Child has achieved an uninterest¬ 
ing errand, the interest must be supplied by the 
grateful parent. 

The question of payment in money is a serious 
one. Regular payment for regular tasks seems 
legitimate, when these are not the only ones re¬ 
quired, and money often acts as a stimulus to 
work for the Indolent Child. 

As the will to work strengthens artificial stimu¬ 
lus is less and less needed and the world is saved 
another “slacker” as the Indolent Child finds 
activity a habit and necessity, if not a joy. 


46 


THE CHILD WITH A TEMPER 





IX 

THE CHILD WITH A TEMPER 

T HE Child with a Temper does not need 
anybody to diagnose her case, but she 
sadly needs treatment. 

We all know the symptoms — red face, flash¬ 
ing eyes, frowns and clenched fists. Furthermore, 
we all know the cause — lack of self-control. But 
of the cure we are not so certain. 

The world at large seems to regard the Person 
with a Temper as belonging to a special species, 
which must be endured but can by no possibility 
be cured. Outbursts that would not be tolerated 
in most people are winked at because, “He has a 
temper, you know.” 

Shall we save the Child with a Temper from 
such a fate? For it is not an enviable position to 
be made allowance for, which means that one is 
also dreaded and usually disliked. 

Now, as the antidote for temper is self-control, 
our problem is to get self-control in the saddle 
before temper has the reins in hand. Temper is 
quick, mounts hastily and dashes ofif, while self- 

49 


Child Types 

control usually arrives only by the time temper is 
disastrously thrown. 

Child with a Temper, we intend to give you 
something quicker than your temper. Your 
mother began well with you, during your first 
tantrums. She either shut you in a room by your¬ 
self or put you to bed. She never whipped you 
then, or scolded you till the outburst was over. 
Then she explained how unhappy it had made 
everybody. She appealed to your wish to be liked 
by telling the story of “The White Dove.” 1 Then 
she meted out your punishment. For every out¬ 
burst of temper was as certain to be followed by 
punishment as day by night. Your mother be¬ 
lieved that the more remote natural punishment 
— lack of popularity, slavery to anger — must be 
anticipated by other punishments imposed by her¬ 
self. Sometimes you went without a favorite 
dessert. Sometimes you were denied a pleasure. 
If your fit of temper had made any particular per¬ 
son unhappy, you did what you could to make it 
up to him. 

Your mother made these tasks rather arduous. 
It was not enjoyable to stick together the bits of 
glass of the vase you broke in anger. Your fin¬ 
gers got sticky and the pieces were hard to fit. 
When you had done it, the vase would not hold 
water, and you were obliged to save up your pen- 

Frora More Mother Stories, by Maud Lindsay 

50 



The Child with a Temper 

nies to buy your aunt a new one. You did not 
want to part with your doll’s new hat, but you 
had torn your playmate’s doll’s hat, in a fit of 
temper, and of course you had to replace it. There 
was no real way of making up to your grand¬ 
mother for spoiling her visit by a tantrum but 
you did give her joy by the scrap-book it took you 
many hours to make. 

So gradually you have become imbued with the 
idea that temper brings unpleasant results, and 
you desire to master it. Your chief reason, 
frankly, is because these results affect you un¬ 
pleasantly, but you are beginning to have a feeling 
that people will hate you if you show temper, and 
there is dawning a wish not to hurt others. 

Your mother has also helped you to ward off 
approaching ill-temper. She speaks your name 
when she sees the red flag of danger flying in 
your cheeks. “Count before you speak,” she cau¬ 
tions, and by ten counts self-control is in the 
saddle. “Sing first, quick,” she cries, and the 
song makes you forget your anger. You are 
learning to employ some of these devices by your¬ 
self. Self-control is growing quicker. Temper is 
less rapid. 

Ah! my dear, we who teach you and love you 
rejoice in all this. It means the saving of a great 
many people’s feelings. It means the saving of 
yourself from slavery and dislike. We will join 

5i 


Child Types 


in the effort to give self-control the start over 
temper, but we shall hope never to tame you down 
to such an extent that your temper will not rise at 
injustice or unkindness to others! 



52 


THE SELF-ASSERTIVE CHILD 






X 


The Self-Assertive Child 


H E will not seem nearly as bad when he 
is a man/’ is what is constantly said of 
the Self-Assertive Child. This goes to 
show that assertiveness is abnormal in childhood. 
Shrinking timidity seems far more fitting in a 
little newcomer into the world. We admit that 
he will probably make his way, but we dislike to 
think of him shouldering that way through life, 
like Dickens’ Mr. Stryver. 

We can give up at once in despair, saying that 
the Self-Assertive Child has no sense of delicacy 
and that no amount of training will change a 
coarse-grained nature to one that is fine. This is 
where we make our fundamental mistake. The 
Self-Assertive Child is not necessarily without 
sensibility. It may be that the interest in the 
thing to be done makes him push ahead, forgetful 
of self. Now, self-forgetfulness is admirable, 
but it is also true that this interest in the thing to 
be done may also lead to something not so admir¬ 
able — forgetfulness of others. The Self-Asser¬ 
tive Child is not indolent, and is willing to work 
hard for anything he wants, but in so doing he 

55 




Child Types 

often rides roughshod over other people’s feelings. 
Our task is to cultivate a regard for others. 

One day his mother steals a march upon him 
and says, “Come, let us make bean bags as a sur¬ 
prise for the child who has just moved next door. 
I’ll make the bags and leave a hole for you to drop 
in the beans.” 

She says this because a new child in the neigh¬ 
borhood often brings out unpleasant behavior in 
her child. It works beautifully, for the bean bag 
surprise uses up the energy that might have gone 
into something of questionable delight to the new 
arrival. 

The teacher of the Self-Assertive Child finds 
him eager to ask and answer questions, to tell the 
story, to use the blackboard, to choose songs. 

He makes a very poor listener, and his teacher 
sees a picture of him as a man waiting with ill- 
concealed impatience for the conclusion of some¬ 
body’s story, so that he can tell his. This teacher 
finds that she cannot always suppress the Self- 
Assertive Child, nor does she believe that suppres¬ 
sion is beneficial. She finds that giving him a shy 
child to look out for or a younger child to help is 
a far better solution. She lets him lead such a 
child to the pictures and wait for her to pick out 
the one that is asked for. She asks him to hold 
the box of crayons which the smaller children 
may choose for blackboard drawing. 

56 


The Self-Assertive Child 


She takes him into a sort of partnership with 
her to make sure that every child has his chance. 
“Has little Mary had her chance to tell the story?” 
she will ask, when the Self-Assertive Child starts 
in on a recital. “What child do you see who 
hasn't had a chance to draw?” she says. Little 
by little she delights in seeing the Self-Assertive 
Child's interest in the responses of others grow. 

We smile at advertisements of quack “cure- 
alls,” but there is a character cure-all. It was dis¬ 
covered by the Master of character, the Lord 
Jesus, and is interest in others and service for 
them. Happy are you, O Self-Assertive Child, if 
those accountable for you are giving it to you! 


57 
















THE IMITATIVE CHILD 













XI 


The Imitative Child 

U NLESS methods of rearing children change 
greatly during the next two decades, the 
Imitative Child bids fair to make a model 
mother, for she is bringing up her rag doll precisely 
as her mother rears the baby. No alteration of 
diet or innovation in care escapes her observant 
eye, and the change is immediately made with the 
doll. 

All children are, of course, imitative to a cer¬ 
tain degree, but the Imitative Child imitates un¬ 
thinkingly. She is a copyist and not an origi¬ 
nator. She does what you do in the same way, 
and never once deviates. 

Watch the Imitative Child in the church school. 
You ask her to show in pantomime what she does 
to help her mother, and sbe stirs cake — not be¬ 
cause she ever did stir cake, but because the child 
who was asked before stirred cake. Watch her 
as she draws “something you like to eat.” It is 
a cup of milk. As it happens, she dislikes milk, 
and every drop she drinks is forced down her 
throat. But the child next her drew a cup of 
milk; consequently she did. 

61 


Child Types 

This copying of another’s acts without thought 
is the Imitative Child’s danger. She does this not 
at all to give a false impression, but simply be¬ 
cause it is easier for her to copy than to think. 
Neither does this necessarily brand her as dull, 
but rather as not original. 

The Imitative Child’s friends have two duties 
toward her — to encourage independent thinking, 
and imitating with discrimination. 

Her teacher encourages thoughtful answers by 
asking the Imitative Child a question first, before 
there is an answer to repeat. She usually finds 
that, there being no opportunity for the parrot 
role, she gives an intelligent reply. In like man¬ 
ner, when there is any handwork to be done, she 
is placed so that she can see no other child’s work. 

Her mother encourages her to make choices — 
of the cereal she wants, the dress she shall wear, 
the story to be told. She is careful not to express 
too strong opinions, lest the little copyist become 
merely her echo. She frequently asks her why 
she likes or chooses something. 

To encourage imitating with discrimination her 
mother institutes the Game of Make-believe. 
“Which,” she says, “would you like to make be¬ 
lieve be, a carpenter who pounds or a wood- 
chopper who chops?” After the Imitative Child 
has chosen, she personifies her choice before the 
father, and he guesses whom she represents. 

62 


The Imitative Child 


Again the mother says, “Which will you be, mother 
with the baby, or auntie with Fido?” and again 
the Imitative Child decides which impersonation 
is more pleasing. The game proceeds, and the 
child is learning to discriminate in imitation. 

Her teacher does similar things. She lets her 
choose between two story characters to be repre¬ 
sented, or whether she will play feed a cat or 
wheel a baby. When the stories of Jesus are told, 
the Imitative Child is helped to see that none is so 
worthy of imitation, so loving, so helpful, as the 
Lord Jesus. 

For the Imitative Child’s weakness is, after 
all, her strength. Rightly guided in discriminat¬ 
ing choice, she will become a hero-worshiper, an 
imitator of noble people, a follower of the Great 
Example. 


63 










THE GOOD-NATURED CHILD 





XII 


The Good-Natured Child 


W ERE parents to choose the fairy’s birth 
gift for their child, it would probably be 
good-nature. For the Good-Natured 
Child is comfortable to live with, and easy to deal 
with. The parents anticipate, instead of frequent 
clashes of will, made less frequent only by avoid¬ 
ing the issue, pleasant companionship, because of 
the Good-Natured Child’s tendency to be happy 
under all circumstances. 

Nor do parents rate good-nature higher than do 
teachers. The Good-Natured Child is welcome in 
any class in any school. Popular with his play¬ 
mates, too, is the Good-Natured Child. He is like 
the sunshine that destroys germs of hatred and 
scatters clouds of ill-temper. 

“The world is a happy place!” is the attitude 
of the Good-Natured Child toward life. 

“Everybody is my friend!” is his attitude to¬ 
ward people. 

Have we, then, discovered in the Good-Natured 
Child the Perfect Child? Alas, no! Even good¬ 
nature, carried too far, may change from a virtue 
to a fault. 


67 


Child Types 

Look about you at some merely Good-Natured 
Man. He is comfortable to live with, to be sure, 
for he never combats your opinions or interferes 
with your wishes. He is amiable, affectionate and 
— easy. He is pleasant but also a trifle dull and 
lazy. His greatest bugbear is “a fuss,” his ideal 
that things shall run smoothly. 

He teaches parents and teachers that the Good- 
Natured Child may need to be pricked to action 
that is not popular and may gain for him enemies. 

His small brother stones the cat. Now, he 
would never hurt a living creature, but when he 
finds that his objections meet with obstinacy, he 
gives in rather than to insist. T suspect the cat 
would prefer less good-nature. 

When he goes to school his good-nature has 
another bad effect. He lets any child borrow his 
book, break his pencils and mislay his pen. He is 
too good-natured to refuse. As a result his les¬ 
sons are not learned and the teacher is not good- 
natured. 

In the church school he is too ready to give up 
his chair or his chance to tell the story, or his turn 
to choose a song. 

So the wise mother tries to make her child see 
that good-nature may mean heartless indifference. 
She tells him stories of people who were stern 
and fierce against any one who hurt an animal or 
a child. 


68 


The Good-Natured Child 


The Good-Natured Child’s teacher does not 
applaud his generosity in gifts and loans, but 
rather encourages a sense of property rights. The 
loaned book that was not returned is no excuse 
for the unlearned lesson. 

In the church school the Good-Natured Child 
is encouraged to take his place, and do his part, 
and get his rights. 

Thus Good-Nature is saved from becoming an¬ 
other name for Indolence. 

i 

{ 


69 


THE PERSISTENT CHILD 



















XIII 

The Persistent Child 

T HE Persistent Child’s relatives dread his 
visits. Instead of planning to interest 
him their hope is that he will not take a 
violent fancy to anything, for they know that 
thing he will have, no matter how much they may 
object. 

This is in a great degree his mother’s fault, for 
his mother is an invalid and a pacifist. “Any¬ 
thing — anywhere, if only I need not be dis¬ 
turbed,” is her plea. 

Luckily for the Persistent Child the mother’s 
invalidism requires seclusion, and lie is trans¬ 
ferred to an aunt. Now, this aunt is neither an 
invalid nor a pacifist. Besides, she is herself per¬ 
sistent, and knows full well its penalties and its 
rewards. She turns a deaf ear to both warnings 
and complaints of other relatives. 

“The Persistent Child holds the key to success,” 
she declares. “He only needs to be taught to dis¬ 
criminate in his persistence.” 

The aunt provides occupations and games that 
are not easy. “You will have to try again,” she 
says, on the first failure, and rewards final suc- 

73 


Child Types 

cess with enthusiasm. She keeps the Persistent 
Child busy persisting in something worthy to 
achieve. She realizes the value of this unusual 
possession, and if ever perseverance lags, she 
spurs it on. 

However, providing right direction for per¬ 
sistence does not entirely prevent occasional lapses 
into that which is wrong. The Persistent Child 
persists in asking for a forbidden pleasure, which 
is as persistently refused. The reason for the 
refusal is given, but this makes no difference. 

The wise aunt knows that any attempt to turn 
his attention will be futile, so she calmly says, 
“You cannot, and I have told you why. I shall 
not change my mind. Every time you ask me, I 
shall take away one of your after-dinner candies.” 

When these dinner candies are gone, the Per¬ 
sistent Child ceases teasing for this particular 
thing, but he wouldn’t be the Persistent Child if 
he did not try his aunt again and again and yet 
again. 

“I never keep late hours and I take very nour¬ 
ishing food,” said the aunt to one who was con¬ 
gratulating her upon her success. “One needs 
poise and health and quiet nerves to regulate per¬ 
sistence without destroying it.” 


74 


The Changing Child 











THROUGH FEAR TO CONFIDENCE 



I 


Through Fear to Confidence 

W E are gradually growing away from our 
old conception of teaching a course of 
lessons to a new idea of helping little 
children develop. The amount of knowledge they 
gain in the Beginners’ Department is unimportant 
compared with their change in attitude and feel¬ 
ing when they leave us at six. The test of the Be¬ 
ginners’ Department is whether it sends them out 
better fitted for life than when they entered. 

In these articles we shall consider some of the 
changes we should like to see take place and 
methods to bring this about. 

Fear of the unfamiliar is characteristic of the 
child entering the Beginners’ Department. This 
shows itself in refusing to sit in the circle, in 
clinging to his mother, often in hiding his face 
from the sight of all the strangeness in the safety 
of her shoulder. It is this same instinct of fear 
that protects animals from dangers. “Beware of 
the unknown!” is the law of the forest. 

The safeguard needed at four can be largely 
discarded at six, and it is our task to develop con- 

77 


The Changing Child 

fidence. Nothing will do this more effectually 
than a sense of God’s companionship and care, of a 
world filled with his creations and material bless¬ 
ings made possible by him. This is the first note 
struck on a child’s entrance from the Cradle Roll. 
Like a golden thread it runs through the two years 
of his stay, till he leaves with this feeling clear, 
though unexpressed, — 

“God’s in his heaven, 

All’s right with the world.” 

This is largely accomplished through stories . 1 
He listens to stories of God’s care for various 
people — the Baby Moses, Elijah, Ishmael, Daniel 
in the Lions’ Den. He traces every one of his 
daily blessings back to God, through such stories 
as “The Heavenly Father’s Care for His Chil¬ 
dren,” and “Thanking God for Good Gifts.” He 
finds a satisfying proof of God’s omnipresence in 
the story of Jacob and sees his care penetrating 
the whole world in such stories as “The Sun a 
Helper,” “The Rain a Helper,” and “The Gift of 
Day and Night.” 

Listening to these stories, retelling them him¬ 
self, playing them, illustrating them in his crude 
way, they mold him as much as do the events of 
his daily life. Daniel’s trust becomes his trust, 

1 The stories, pictures and Bible verses referred to occur in the Inter¬ 
national Beginners’ Course. 


78 


Through Fear to Confidence 

Jacob’s discovery of God’s presence, his own. 
Every search back for causes ends at the common 
beginning — God. Every creation, traced for¬ 
ward, proves a gift for him. A world for which 
God cares is a world in which the specter fear will 
vanish. 

There are songs that assist in establishing this 
feeling of confident safety. The terrors of night 
seem unreal as a child sings: 

“When I’m sleeping in the dark , 2 
When I lie awake and hark, 

God sees, God sees.” 

God’s constant presence is made real by the 
words: 

“How strong and sweet my Father’s care , 3 
That round about me, like the air, 

Is with me always, everywhere ! 

He cares for me.” 

The very music of such songs tends to soothe 
and give confidence. 

Pictures do their part — not alone the story 
pictures that bring tales of God’s care to mind, 
but pictures filled with the sense of God, such as 
the Angelus, a child praying at his mother’s knee, 
the night sky with its stars. 

2 Used by permission of the Century Co. 

* Used by permission of the John Church Co. 

79 


The Changing Child 

Bible verses, sympathetically used, give expres¬ 
sion to the growing confidence, — “God is my 
helper”; “He careth for you”; “God is love”; “I 
am with thee”; “The day is thine, the night also 
is thine.” 

There are verses which discover God’s hand in 
outdoor happenings, — “He causeth his wind to 
blow”; “He maketh his sun to rise”; “He causeth 
to come down for you the rain.” 

Objects of nature prove beyond a doubt the 
Creator’s interest in making the homes of sea- 
creatures safe, and of young birds comfortable, 
and show his love of beauty. 

Nor does the teacher leave to this direct teach¬ 
ing the banishment of a little child’s unreasoning 
fears. She makes his first venture into a new 
environment a happy experience, and through her 
tact conquers the fear that keeps him outside the 
circle. Her friendliness leads him to believe that 
other strangers may prove friends. Besides, he 
finds that the familiar is here. The things he 
knows and loves he meets with in pictures and 
stories. The things he does at home are done 
here, in play. The conversation is on his plane. 
The sense of confidence he gets grows, as he comes 
again and again. Who shall measure the effect of 
a first new environment that proves itself kindly 
when one feared it hostile! 

Through fear to confidence — it is the natural 

80 


Through Fear to Confidence 

way. A chrysalis must break through its protect¬ 
ing covering when its time comes, or it will stay 
forever without wings. So must a child cast aside 
the fear of an ignorant and dependent babyhood 
in order to emerge into greater freedom. 


81 
















THROUGH RETICENCE TO SELF- 
EXPRESSION 








\ 


4 * * 


^ V, 








II 


Through Reticence to Self- 
Expression 

“They are deep, the eyes of a child, 

Deep as the deeps of the sea; 

Under their lifted fringes soft 
Lies a soul of mystery.” 

T HE mysterious reticence of childhood is 
a continual challenge to a lover of chil¬ 
dren to discover the charm that will break 
it. The reticent four-year-old child who comes 
to us may be afraid of the unfamiliar, when it 
is our duty to establish a sense of safety and 
confidence. His reticence may be an instinctive 
protection of his individuality, which we ought 
to respect and protect, for who likes the man 
who wears his heart upon his sleeve? We will 
depart from the common method of conversing 
with children by pelting them with questions. 
Why shouldn’t a little child listen at first more 
than talk? We will ignore him for the most 
part, and yet reveal our friendliness in the subtle 
fashion that is wordless. When he does ven- 

85 


The Changing Child 

ture a question or a confidence, we will answer 
him seriously and listen sympathetically. 

There is a third reason for a little child’s reti¬ 
cence — his inability to express himself. It is 
this practise in self-expression which he must 
acquire during his two years with us, for only so 
will he be able to communicate with others. Let 
us consider five means of expression which we 
can assist him to use. 

i. Words. He will begin with short sentences 
or single words, and they will come when he for¬ 
gets himself in his interest in a subject. Other 
children’s remarks usually lead him to express 
himself. If cats are the theme, he wishes to be 
known as the owner of a cat; if dinner menus are 
being given, he hates to be left out. The advan¬ 
tage of the group to the reticent child is that he 
feels on a level with those his age, and incon¬ 
spicuous when he speaks. The teacher may draw 
him into the conversation by expressing what she 
really wants him to say, as, “John has a red neck¬ 
tie,” or, “I wonder who has a red necktie,” or a 
picture or an object may inspire the first remark. 

The reticent child will join the chorus that 
repeats some phrase of an old story, such as “It 
rained and rained and rained.” Little by little he 
will tell more — a whole sentence by himself, or 
an episode. And when he leaves us the door of 
his lips should be partly unsealed. 

86 


Through Reticence to Self-Expression 

2. Play. The first expression through play 
is likely to be imitation of class play, when all 
hoe, or plant seeds, or perform kind deeds in pan¬ 
tomime. A little later will come play initiated by 
the teacher, who chooses the reticent child for a 
minor part, and directs his activities. For ex¬ 
ample, she is the mother and sends him on an 
errand. It takes more thought to represent some¬ 
thing for the rest to guess, such as a carpenter. 
Still greater power of expression is shown when 
a child plays according to his own idea a part of 
a story, or suggests and originates play. 

3. Handwork. Expression through the hand 
proceeds in similar fashion. The early attempts 
are imitative, adding one to the blackboard full of 
eggs, apples or snowflakes. Second in order is a 
small part in a cooperative drawing, when the 
teacher draws the cup which the child fills with 
milk, or the chick whose food he adds, or the nest 
in which he puts eggs. A little later he is able to 
draw common things, unlike those already drawn, 
such as the orange he ate or the flower he picked. 
Still later he will illustrate a story, as crudely as 
he tells it, but showing actual self-expression. 
Last of all comes the power to illustrate a theme 
— something to help with, or anything outdoors 
that tells us “God is love.” 

4. Songs. As a singer he begins with an 
oft-repeated refrain, followed by repetition of 

87 


The Changing Child 

each line just sung. Later he may sing me^ 
chanically, but he will show real self-expression 
in song when he chooses one that fits into the 
theme. In rare cases he will compose a story in 
song, to a chant of his own making. 

5. Through Acts. The highest self-expres¬ 
sion is service, and our reticent child needs more 
than anything else training in this, ranging from 
obedience in performing little helpful acts for his 
teacher to making gifts for parents or poor chil¬ 
dren. If a child should suggest some kind act 
one may indeed feel encouraged. 

So, without injury to his fine reticence, may 
we send a child into the Primary Department able 
in some measure to express his thoughts and his 
feelings. 


88 


THROUGH EGOISM TO CONSIDERATION 















Ill 


Through Egoism to Consideration 

T HE little child who comes to us is ab¬ 
sorbed in himself. He is not an egotist 
but he is an egoist, and naturally so. His 
first business in the world is to get acquainted 
with his own capabilities and exercise his own 
powers. However, we do not want him to leave 
us without some consideration for other people. 
This will not be as big a thing as self-denial. 
Unselfishness, even, is too large a term. The word 
consideration expresses what is quite within the 
capacity of a little child. 

Family life is the best school for learning con¬ 
sideration, and where the Beginner has a baby 
brother or sister, he has had some good training. 
A girl of three and a half, the morning after the 
advent of a baby into the family got up, washed 
and dressed herself, and inquired, “Shall I go 
down and get breakfast ?” On the other hand, 
when the child is the youngest member of the 
family, the very unselfish devotion of brothers, 
sisters and parents tends to increase his sense of 
his own importance. 

The Beginners’ class is usually his first social 

9i 


The Changing Child 

adventure, and he soon feels social obligations. 
He not only finds that he is not of chief impor¬ 
tance, but that he receives consideration in exact 
proportion to that he shows. The public opinion 
of the group of contemporaries proves a great 
force, and a wise teacher makes use of it. So in 
our training toward consideration we will put as 
most influential, — 

1. Group Action . In conversation no child 
can have a monopoly. He learns to yield the 
floor. At the blackboard there is not room for 
all; and children must take turns. It is not pos¬ 
sible always to have the prominent parts in play, 
or be the one to point out objects in a picture, or 
to have one’s choice of old stories and songs. 
Teasing or wriggling is not countenanced by a 
neighbor one’s own age, and the protest of a con¬ 
temporary is often more effective than the com¬ 
mand of a teacher. Even in such small matters 
as receiving one’s folder, or holding an object, 
or being assisted with one’s wraps, each child 
must await his turn. 

This is wholesome discipline, as the group 
epitomizes life better in some ways than the 
family, where the standards and routine are 
planned for adults and not for contemporaries. 

2. Stories. Certain stories and groups of 
stories give the children an ideal of consideration 
for others. All those of Jesus the Man do this, 

92 


Through Egoism to Consideration 

as his attitude toward people was always that of 
extreme sympathy and helpfulness. Little chil¬ 
dren feel this. 

The themes Duty of Loving Obedience, Love 
Shown by Kindness, Children Helping and 
Friendly Helpers are all illustrated by stories that 
make the other person of infinitely more conse¬ 
quence than ourself, and service a privilege. 

3. Bible Verses. Such Bible verses as the 
following keep this ideal before the children: “A 
friend loveth at all times”; “Love one another” ; 
“Be ye kind one to another”; “Thou shalt love 
thy neighbor as thyself”; “Forget not to show 
love unto strangers.” 

4. Songs. There are songs that emphasize 
this loving thought for others, such as, — 

“Help us to do the things we should , 1 
To be to others kind and good ; 

In all we do in work or play, 

To grow more loving every day.” 

“God is love, God is love. 

Love one another, — 

God is love.” 

I 

5. Acts of Service. Arranging flowers in 
cornucopias for their parents, mounting a picture 
for a hospital, wrapping in tissue-paper with 
painstaking care a book for a sick classmate, —- 

1 Used by permission of the Oliver Ditson Co- 

93 


The Changing Child 

all these class activities send the children’s 
thoughts outward instead of inward. And the 
Christmas season is our great opportunity for 
associating joy with deeds for others — far 
greater joy than in receiving. 

With two Christmas seasons added to all one’s 
other chances, what teacher will not send out at 
six a child better fitted to live with his fellowmen ? 


94 


THROUGH DEPENDENCE TO 
INDEPENDENCE 











IV 


Through Dependence to 
Independence 

T HE little child comes to us dependent; in¬ 
deed, this is a large part of his charm. A 
self-reliant four-year-old is an anomaly 
that does not appeal to the imagination. No more 
does a child of six who has grown in body but not 
in efficiency. He bids fair to develop into the 
parasitic type that occupies park benches, or hangs 
on to the nearest male relative, according to sex. 

Our task, then, is in two years to develop exactly 
the right amount of independence, and yet to dis¬ 
courage the self-assertiveness that makes a 
“smarty” from whom we part with relief. 

i. Influence of the Group. Most of our chil¬ 
dren come to us with little, if any, training toward 
independence, unless they have younger brothers 
or sisters. Their chances of gaining this are in¬ 
finitely greater in a group of contemporaries than 
as youngest members of families eager to minister 
to them. 

For the first time in their lives they find them¬ 
selves part of a crowd. They gradually absorb 

9 7 


The Changing Child 

the idea that they are not to be personally con¬ 
ducted through life. This is good for their souls. 

They come under the subtle influence of public 
opinion. The older children are the ones gener¬ 
ally admired and imitated. Capability and self- 
reliance are popular qualities. The little new¬ 
comer finds himself emulating these virtues to 
secure the approval of the group. 

The wise teacher assists in the development of 
self-reliance by encouraging the little children in 
picking up their own overturned chairs, putting 
on their own wraps as far as possible, and in 
general waiting upon themselves, and not being 
department parasites. 

2. Stories. Stories that arouse an ideal of 
self-reliance are those about the same character in 
babyhood, dependent and cared for, and again, 
when older, taking his share of responsibility. 
Thus the baby Moses, whose life was saved by 
ingenious care, becomes the man Moses, leading 
and directing his people. The boy Jesus, helpless 
in his mother’s arms, grows into a man whom the 
children delight in calling Jesus the Helper. Han¬ 
nah’s baby Samuel develops into blind Eli’s 
assistant. 

The return of care to those who have given it is 
the theme of the stories, “Ruth in the Barley 
Field," “Elijah Helping a Mother,” “Elisha and 
a Boy,” “Children’s Love for Jesus,” “Joseph 

98 


Through Dependence to Independence 

Taking Care of His Father,” and “The Story of 
Ishmael.” 

The entire series under “Children Helping” 
and “Friendly Helpers” makes exertion on behalf 
of others desirable, and in “Jesus Teaching How 
to Help” the idea of service is set forth. 

3. Songs and Prayers. Songs that set a high 
value upon services rendered and request strength 
to perform them have a great effect upon the 
children. 

4. Pictures. There are pictures that make 
independence and capability attractive. Such are 
“Back from the Grocer’s,” “Nothing Venture, 
Nothing Have,” “Don’t Be Afraid,” and “The 
Garden.” 

5. Bible Verses. The Bible verses that carry 
out this theme are “Be ready” and “Even a child 
maketh himself known by his doings.” 

6. Handwork. Skill in handwork is coveted, 
and praise for unassisted efforts an incentive. 

7. Independent Thought. The wise teacher 
will also recognize the value of independent 
thought in her children, and never ridicule or 
frown upon the little child who tenaciously holds 
an opinion. She will show her respect for his 
opinion, and help him to modify it himself, or to 
consult a parent. 


99 


) 

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* > 


> > ^ 



















THROUGH PETULANCE TO POISE 





V 


Through Petulance to Poise 

T HIS striking quotation was recently sent 
me, — “Why were the saints, saints ? Be¬ 
cause they were cheerful when it was 
difficult to be cheerful, and patient when it was 
difficult to be patient; and because they pushed on 
when they wanted to stand still, and kept silent 
when they wanted to talk, and were agreeable 
when they wanted to be disagreeable. That was 
all. It was quite simple and always will be.” 

In other words, the self-control of the saints 
gave them that indescribable thing — poise. Now 
poise is, of course, a distinctly adult quality. In¬ 
deed, a petulant child rather attracts us, as a lack 
of self-possession seems to belong to childhood. 
So a grown person lacking in poise we term 
childish. We shall all agree that a petulant adult 
is distressing, and to secure our children from 
that possibility we must help them to gain a cer¬ 
tain amount of poise during their two-years’ stay 
with us. 

i. Cultivating Poise in Ourselves. A teacher 
should be a rock for the children to cling to, never 
failing in calm self-possession. Without a word 

103 


The Changing Child 

or an act her own poise quiets anger and fretful¬ 
ness, and calms agitated little people. It not only 
serves as an example, but is contagious. It de¬ 
pends to a great degree upon good health and 
calm nerves. A long Saturday night’s sleep will 
insure it in most teachers. It must be cultivated 
to the highest degree, for no teacher of little chil¬ 
dren dares be without it. 

2. Public Opinion of Class. Again public 
opinion is a mighty factor. Little petulant new¬ 
comers soon find that they are ignored or ridi¬ 
culed by their classmates, and so the inborn desire 
for popularity is a cure for petulance. 

3. Interest. A child has no wish to be fretful 
when he is interested in a story or absorbed in 
play or drawing. Interesting teaching methods 
are therefore a means to give a child self-pos¬ 
session. 

4. Something to Do. The gait of the peasant 
is free and dignified. Honest work gives poise. 
So we will provide plenty of things for our chil¬ 
dren to do. 

A. Play. In group play the petulant child 
who destroys the quiet of a snowfall by angrily 
stamping is distinctly unpopular. So is the child 
who refuses to do the errand a child-mother re¬ 
quests. Group play demands abandon and co¬ 
operation and self-denial. 

B. Handwork. In individual drawing a child 

104 


Through Petulance to Poise 

works for a result satisfying to himself, and can¬ 
not waste time fretting. In cooperative drawing 
such as drawing one of six eggs in a nest, or a 
few of the snowflakes on a window-pane, he hates 
to spoil the effect. In pasting or coloring the 
same principle holds good. 

C. Physical Movement. Clapping, march¬ 
ing, standing, sitting or turning about at the 
teacher’s command, all necessitate self-control. 

D. Combined Thought and Action. There is 
no chance for petulance when children are ab¬ 
sorbed in pointing out in pictures people who are 
kind, animals God made, or the like. Connecting 
songs with pictures also requires intense thought 
which crowds out petulance. 

E. Helpfulness in the Room. Assisting in 
giving out wraps, in fastening up pictures and in 
placing chairs all help to give self-possession. 

F. Acts of Service. Any actual deed of love 
for another person gives the poise that is the 
result of happy work. 

5. Stories. Stories that bring out the contrast 
of poise and petulance are “Jesus Stilling the 
Storm,” “Jesus Loving Little Children,” “Jesus 
and His Friends,” “A Kind Uncle,” and “Joseph’s 
Coat of Many Colors.” 

6. Songs. “A Thought” and “The World’s 
Music” give an ideal of happiness. 

7. Increased Facility. As their power of re- 

105 


The Changing Child 

telling stories, singing and expressing themselves 
through play increases, the children gain in poise. 
They feel themselves more and more masters of 
the situation, and act accordingly. 


THROUGH AFFECTION TO 
APPRECIATION 


VI 


Through Affection to 
Appreciation 


I S a little child affectionate by nature? This 
seems an easy question to answer, till we 
hear that some psychologists contend true 
affection does not appear till adolescence. This 
arises, I suppose, from the theory that in the teens 
the appeal to idealistic service is strong, while in 
earlier years love expresses itself in the wish for 
physical nearness and in response to benefits re¬ 
ceived. 

I am not a specialist in adolescence, but I was 
once an adolescent and a very selfish one, as I 
recall, and I see reflected in girls of today that 
same intense self-consciousness, love of pleasure 
and sense of abuse if it is not forthcoming. I 
confess that to me a little child’s spontaneous 
show of affection and his delight in being with 
the people who make up his world is refreshing in 
comparison. 

His liking is transitory, and out of sight is 
usually out of mind, so long as he is comfortable. 
However, he will sometimes greet a returned 

iog 


The Changing Child 

parent with tears, which shows that unknowingly 
he has felt a loss. On the other hand, many a 
child shows utter unconcern or even regret on 
such an occasion. “Why did you come back so 
soon? We are having a lovely time with grand¬ 
ma/’ was one child’s welcome to her mother. 

There is affection that shows itself in mere 
physical demonstration, there is the give-and-take 
kind, and the higher sort that combines admira¬ 
tion and appreciation. 

What we want to do is to assist in a little child’s 
dawning ability to appreciate. We might almost 
call the Beginners’ Course a course in apprecia¬ 
tion. We know that it is beyond the possibilities 
for him to appreciate others to any extent. We 
simply point out the way. 

i. Stories. The stories of the baby Moses and 
of Hannah help toward an appreciation of human 
motherhood, and those of the orioles and Tabby 
Gray and Fluff in an appreciation of animal and 
bird motherhood. “Joseph Taking Care of His 
Father” shows one son’s love and care for his 
father, and the stories of Ruth a daughter’s affec¬ 
tion expressing itself in demonstrations, in the 
desire for close companionship and in service. 

Stories that help little children to appreciate 
God are those that recount his care for them, such 
as “The Heavenly Father’s Care for His Chil¬ 
dren” and “Thanking God for Good Gifts.” Such 


no 


Through Affection to Appreciation 

stories as “Jacob’s Ladder” and “David Praising 
God” show two men’s recognition of God’s part 
in their lives. Indeed, all the Old Testament 
stories we tell are permeated with the thought of 
God. 

The stories of Jesus help a child to appreciate 
him. “Love for a Guest” and “A Room for a 
Friend” show love made practical. 

2. Bible Verses. Bible verses that tell of love 
are these: “God is love”; “He careth for you”; 
“Thou, Lord, hath made me glad”; “We love, 
because he first loved us”; “Love one another”; 
“Forget not to show love unto strangers.” 

3. Songs. Such songs as “Jesus loves me”; 
“God is love” (Songs for Little People ) and “He 
Cares for Me” help to foster appreciation. 

4. Prayer. Informal prayers that name food 
and clothes and other gifts from God help in this 
education in appreciation, as do the more formal 
prayers that tell of God’s blessings. “We are 
glad for our mothers,” or “that little birds have 
mother birds to make nests,” is another form of 
appreciative prayer. 

5. Pictures. Pictures that show a mother’s 
tender care or God’s gifts make a child’s apprecia¬ 
tion concrete. 

6. Handwork. To draw God’s gifts — the 
apple on the tree that the teacher draws, the bird, 
or flower, or glass of milk, or egg, also make 


hi 


The Changing Child 

appreciation concrete. Parents’ gifts, too, can be 
crudely drawn. 

7. Play . Play is after all children’s most nor¬ 
mal expression. They love to show in pantomime 
ways in which their mothers and other members 
of the family care for them. They delight in act¬ 
ing out ways in which they have been entertained, 
and all that others do to make them happy. 

8 . Department Attitude . In the department 
itself affection is not allowed to show itself in 
demonstration to any great extent, but little lov¬ 
ing acts of consideration for others are made 
much of, to raise the ideal of affection to its finest 
form. 

In such ways may a child’s natural affection be 
made '‘open sesame” to appreciation. 


11 2 


THROUGH OBSTINACY TO 
PERSISTENCE 























VII 


Through Obstinacy to 
Persistence 

E VERY teacher of Beginners is well ac¬ 
quainted with the child who will not march, 
who objects to parting with his pennies, 
who refuses to play and who is silent during the 
songs. “Obstinate little thing!” she comments, 
unless she is a discerning person. Then she ob¬ 
serves the particular child who appears obstinate, 
and asks herself some questions. 

“May it not be shyness?” she queries, and tries 
to win his confidence. “Or is it unaccustomed¬ 
ness?” and she encourages him to attempt small 
beginnings in self-expression. 

If she comes to the conclusion that the child is 
actually obstinate, she has a vision of his future, 
of how he will be disliked and avoided, and sets 
herself the task of reducing obstinacy to per¬ 
sistence. 

Her first step is to arouse a desire to act, so that 
he will associate joy with action. Her second 
step is to show that she expects and will insist 
upon action. 

US 


The Changing Child 

1. Stories. There are two stories which make 
giving attractive, and may assist in making an 
obstinate child wish to take part in the offering 
march, and give up his pennies. These are 
“Thanking God by Giving” and “Gifts for God’s 
House.” 

2. Bible Verse. “Be ready” can be used as a 
crisp command, which a child will want to obey. 

3. Pictures. The lure of a picture placed face 
down on the table or floor will induce many an 
obstinate child to pick it up. To point out story 
pictures, or animals God feeds, or children God 
cares for, is a pleasant thing to do. 

4. Drawing. It may be a colored crayon that 
arouses a desire to act in an obstinate child. 
Other children’s delight in making orange pump¬ 
kins and red apples make him wish to try his hand 
at drawing. 

5. Play. Possibly play has the best chance of 
infusing joy into activity. It must be a very con¬ 
trary child who does not want to hang a toy on 
an imaginary Christmas tree, or dig potatoes in a 
play field, or assist in making and baking cookies 
for a child-grandmother’s visit. 

When a certain amount of joy in activities has 
been awakened, it is time for the second step — 
insistence that the obstinate child shall comply 
with requests. At the same time the desirability 
of persistence should be made apparent. 

116 


Through Obstinacy to Persistence 

1. Stories. “The Story of Jonah” illustrates 
how God regards disobedience. “Two Tiny 
Builders” and “Four Friends Helping a Sick 
Man” illustrate persistent effort. 

2. Teacher's Attitude. Walter refuses point 
blank to show in pantomime how he helps at 
home, and says he doesn’t want to point out pic¬ 
tures of helpers. The teacher says that as he 
isn’t willing to do anything, he must sit in her 
high chair. This he does shamefacedly, and the 
public opinion of the class is plainly against him. 
When he has been ignored for some time she sug¬ 
gests that everybody shall close their eyes while 
Walter touches the story picture, and when he 
goes she will take her seat. He does this eagerly, 
and regains his own chair with satisfaction. 

In such ways a teacher can make the desired 
act easy, and yet be firm in seeing that her re¬ 
quests are attended to. She will wait for the 
reluctant child. She will praise him when the 
act is accomplished. She will recognize the value 
of persistence, and turn this in right directions. 
The obstinate child, when once he wants to do 
anything, will not be pushed aside. If he does 
not succeed in drawing the first apple, he will try 
another. If the first imitation of an animal’s cry 
is poor, he will attempt it a second time. It is 
encouragement in persistence which will save for 
a child what is good in obstinacy. 

ii 7 




















THROUGH IMAGINATION TO 
SYMPATHY 




VIII 


Through Imagination to Sympathy 



DICTIONARY definition of sympathy is 
“The quality of being affected by the state 


or condition of another with feelings cor¬ 
respondent in kind.” It is perfectly apparent that 
a little child is not capable of great sympathy. It 


is not cruelty which makes him laugh at the writh- 


ings of a hurt animal, but the unusual movements 


which strike him as absurd and which indicate to 


him no sign of torture. He finds our grimaces of 
pain amusing. For him we are merely “making 
up faces”; we are not human beings who suffer. 
Never having experienced suffering, he cannot 
sympathize with it. 

Must he, then, live through all the experiences 
in which he can be expected to sympathize ? This 
would push sympathy out of the realm of child¬ 
hood. No, nature provides a substitute for ex¬ 
perience. Instead of waiting for experience to 
lead the way to sympathy a child is given the 
short-cut of imagination. By its magic he is 
enabled to put himself in another’s place. He 
reacts to the experiences of others. He is born 
with a marvelous gift. Francis Thompson writes, 


121 


The Changing Child 

“Know you what it is to be a child? It is to be 
so little that the elves can reach to whisper in 
your ear; it is to turn pumpkins into coaches, and 
mice into horses, lowness into loftiness, and noth¬ 
ing into everything, for each child has its fairy 
godmother in its own soul.” 

Stories and pictures arouse the imagination of 
children, and play is its natural expression. Let 
us see how through specific stories sympathy is 
engendered, and how it may be expressed. 

The story of Jesus and the Fishermen kindles 
the imagination, and through pantomime the un¬ 
successful fishing is made very real. The result 
is a real sympathy with the fishermen’s disap¬ 
pointment and a corresponding reaction to Jesus’ 
helpfulness. 

The children relive the Good Samaritan story 
and through it come not alone sympathy for the 
hurt man but they enter into the feelings of the 
Good Samaritan, and through sympathy a desire 
to be helpful is aroused. 

The activities of workmen who minister to 
children’s comfort are shown in pantomime, and 
the children are enabled to put themselves in their 
places, which is a pretty good guaranty of con¬ 
sideration. 

Through stories of family life the children gain 
sympathy for the various members of the family. 
Through pictures the same result is attained. 


122 


Through Imagination to Sympathy 

Through family plays they become able to appre¬ 
ciate in a small measure mother care and brotherly 
or sisterly helpfulness. 

So through the alchemy of imagination comes 
the greatest thing in the world — sympathy. 


123 

















THROUGH ACTIVITY TO 
HELPFULNESS 




IX 


Through Activity to Helpfulness 



N evidence of maturity is the tendency to 


measure children’s good behavior by their 


inactivity. “She’s a good little thing — 
so quiet,’’ we say. Another of our encomiums is, 
“I should never have known he was in the room,” 
and we use the mouse and the dove and the lamb 
as terms of endearment. 

Yet the law of growth is activity, and normal 
children are by nature full of movement. To 
suppress them is not only cruel; it is stupid. The 
world has work to be done. The untrained energy 
that is so objectionable to most adults is the raw 
material out of which work is made. It simply 
needs to be directed. In its highest form it will 
be activity for others — helpfulness —and it is 
this form of activity we shall especially encourage 
in the church school. 

If we can make the children feel that they are 
needed, they will respond proudly. Do not for 
one moment think this is because they are longing 
to help. Their motive is not so high. They 
probably want to show what they are able to do, 
and that they can do more than some other child. 


127 


The Changing Child 

1. Helpfulness in the Room. Whenever it is 
at all possible the children should help in the room, 
either before or during the session. They can get 
the crayons, and drawing-paper, fasten up the 
pictures, bring extra chairs into the circle, or put 
a plant in the sunlight. These little acts will make 
the room seem more truly theirs. 

2. Stories. Stories on the themes Helpfulness 
and Kindness will raise an ideal of helpful activ¬ 
ity. Such stories are: “Samuel Helping in God’s 
House,” “Ruth in the Barley Field,” “Helping to 
Build the Wall,” “David the Shepherd Boy,” 
“The Story of the Good Samaritan,” “Going on 
an Errand,” “A Room for a Friend,” and “The 
Story of Rebekah.” 

3. Songs. Such a song as “Together,” in Be¬ 
ginners’ Story 99, or the second verse of “Morn¬ 
ing Hymn,” makes helpfulness desirable. 

4. Play. Pantomime of helpful acts to the 
members of the family and playmates gives an 
impulse toward actual helpfulness. 

5. Acts of Helpfulness. Best of all are real 
acts of helpfulness done on Sunday or at the week¬ 
day session. On Sunday a gift of flowers may be 
arranged in a basket for a mother, or a scrap¬ 
book carefully wrapped and tied for a sick child. 
On a week-day gifts of all sorts can be made by 
active little fingers. In such acts helpfulness will 
be raised to its highest form by laying the empha- 

128 


Through Activity to Helpfulness 

sis on the person who is made happy rather than 
on the children’s service. 

••••••«# 

As the children are completing their second 
year in the department, the thoughtful teacher is 
less concerned over what they know than over 
what they are. “Have they changed,” she con¬ 
siders, “or are they no different from the four- 
year-old children who came to me ? Has the con¬ 
sciousness of God diminished their fear? Are 
they more considerate of others? Have they 
gained some independence and poise? Are they 
readier to express themselves ? Can I find in their 
affection traces of appreciation? Is obstinacy 
being transformed into persistence? Are there 
sympathy and helpfulness where there were only 
imagination and activity?” 

“O little child!” said she, 

“It is not sad to me 

That you are not the child you used to be. 

“I loved you yesterday, 

Timid and full of play. 

I liked your helplessness and childish way. 

“Today I love you more, 

Though much I liked before 

Has altered, and will alter o’er and o’er. 

“O little child !” said she, 

“In every change I see 

That you are growing strong, and fine, and free.” 

129 









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